Written by Nathaniel Alvino Risa Prima, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia
The role of a mother has not only been apparent for the physical and emotional aspect of a being. Beyond, mother has nurtured as well as caressed the deeper aspect in each of us: our souls. Its ultimate significance as ‘feminine power’ has contributed to the teachings of love and compassion towards all of us since the very beginning: the time when we were out of their womb.
Even though the patriarchal world has not rarely denied the role and positioning of a mother – especially in the domestic household – in comparison to the father, it could not be dismissed that every human being needs the role of a woman figure in their life, which is initially familiarized by a mother.
Reflected by the circulated popular belief, it is “doa ibu” (the mother’s prayer) that allows someone to be successful in their lives. The same goes with the inherited values by the local wisdom as consistently told in infamous oral tradition such as “Malin Kundang”. High respect and appreciation for mothers are expected to be shown by the children, or else they might be doomed!
But, how is the current situation between us and our mothers?
Along with the fourth wave feminism, postmodern movement, as well as the latest economic pursuit, it is encountered that there are so many aspects that have changed in the lives of men and women, olds and youngs, riches and poors. It includes, but not exclusively, the relationship between mothers and their children.
Well, nowadays, we encounter more and more mothers leaving their older, domestic roles, and instead, together with the fathers, pursuing professional careers. Not to mention that there are also mothers who have to be a single fighter, collecting money on their own, so that their children might survive. This kind of case usually happens in bigger, developed cities where societal and marriage issues are much more prominent and complex.
Regardless where your mother is: in the office, on the road, or inside your house – while yelling at you to pick up the dirty laundry and do the dishes – they always deserve your love and attention, as what they have always been in effort to give.
As for some, having a good, caring mother might be “a privilege”. While for some others, the blessed presence of mother’s love might be less noticed. This situation would differ from one to another. The sad thing is this unfairness does justice to how our reality does revolve, thus, it only needs to be accepted.
What can we do except to accept and look closely? We only might find the silver lining!
And no, I wouldn’t tell you to suddenly approach your mother and tell them that you love them.
Love is a strong word. Sacred, I’d rather say. So, use it wisely and correctly. Make sure that you really know what storms behind its meaning. A word that is said without knowing the meaning would be futile. It goes along with the fact that everybody’s approach and understanding of love is diverse.
Same goes with the seconds you tell your mother that you love them – as sacred the mother’s love is.
It’d be much better to sit a little and remember the good things and nice memories that your mother has left to you since the very beginning. (But hey, if you’re sure that you can’t find any, it’s okay! Don’t be too hard on yourself, everyone has their own life multitudes, including their relationship with their mothers).
Ah, and sometimes, the best things are hidden under what appears as complicated things. In other words, some occasions leave us as if it’s only meant to be some bad remarks firstly. While deeper, after further questioning and realization, it’s actually done for the sake of good, positive things (e.g. sacrifices that your mother has done to you).
Now, for those who have recollected one, ten, or even two hundred thousand positive aspects of your mother, you’re now ready to take your pen and notebooks. Make your simple list and it would do justice! Then, read and absorb those things in your mind and heart. I repeat, in your mind and heart! Put reflective questions such as: Why did my mother do it? How do they bear all of those things? What can I do as her son/daughter?
This kind of reflection is a deep emotional journey. Therefore, a tranquil period at night would do better. Reflective journaling, followed by personal questions would be the initial step, but the next step now depends on you! As you are the ones who involve yourself in the connection with your mother. Figure and do the things that would serve your mother’s love the best.
Remember, the biggest realization doesn’t equal the biggest things that might be seen with one’s eyes. Same goes with love. You can’t see it, but you can always feel it somehow! Beyond thoughts and material possessions, recognize what does truly matter to your mother from your heart within.
Happy Mother’s Day!