Tag Archive for: self-love

FOMO vs JOMO: Why It Is Fine to Miss Out

Written by Amaranila Nariswari, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

FOMO, JOMO, Cheugy, Bussin”, do you know what those words mean? If your answer is absolutely yes!, then congratulations, you haven’t miss a single beat of TikTok’s latest famous slang words. But if your answer is mainly no, then congratulations, too! Not knowing what’s in the trend is not something you should be ashamed of. FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, is the feeling of anxiety you get when you think someone else is having a valuable experience, while you are not (Przybylski et al., 2013). The key point of FOMO is that you missed the experience, and sometimes you might feel that it would be the end of your social life.

While knowing all the latest trends in social media helps you understand most of its contents, the feeling of FOMO pushes you to know more about everything happening around the internet. It’s crazy! It often makes you stressed out when you don’t know something is happening. Furthermore, FOMO is said to be linked to reduced life satisfaction, bad temperamental, and even higher problematic usage of social media (Baker et al., 2016; Elhai et al., 2016; Beyens et al., 2016 in Milyavskaya, 2018). It’s a cycle that brings people into depression and could bring physical symptoms, too, like muscle tension, headaches, or insomnia. 

Wortham (2011) said that FOMO most likely occurs due to the amplification of the ever-growing social media. However, experiencing FOMO doesn’t always have to be social media-related. It could also happen when you miss out on a chance given by someone, and you begin to think of thewhat ifs”. Sometimes we have to miss an opportunity due to an obligation we have to fulfill, but when we miss something, we begin to think if it is really worth the sacrifice. For instance, you were torn between studying or attending a party, but eventually, you chose to study instead of going to the party. You wonder if you made the right choice, I mean, if you did go to that party, you can mingle and socialize with your friends, and you can always study later

Believe me, though, you did not miss anything. Well, maybe you did, but let’s pretend that it is not something big, and we can always grow from that. Would you believe me if I said that missing out on something is a form of self-love? When you know you missed out on something and decide that it is okay, you let yourself rest and even feel joyful! It’s not always easy, but you can start by distracting yourself by doing something productive and focusing on your well-being. Here’s how you can start letting go of the feeling of FOMO:

  1. Meditating

Meditating is an excellent way to start releasing tension. Using the technique of mindfulness, we learn to attain emotional and mentally stable conditions. Through meditating, you develop a mindset of the present and you let go of any sense of judgment. While you live in the present, you let go of your past. You know that not everything in the future will go in accordance with your will, too, but you let go. Citing SCL Health, the key to mindfulness is to observe your thoughts and let them pass by. You are separated from your thoughts, meaning you don’t have to comply with your anxiety of wanting to know everything at every moment.

  1. Read books

You can never go wrong with reading books. Take a 15-minute break from your work and study. Instead of scrolling through your social media, grab a book and let yourself get immersed in your reading. Keep in mind that it doesn’t always have to be a self-motivating book or other highly-substantive reading. You can read anything you feel comfortable with, even comics, as long as it brings you joy and the feeling of calmness. It could be better if you get inspired after reading, then you can be productive in doing your job later instead of worrying about missing a single thing.

  1. Gardening, playing musical instruments, or volunteering with us!

Let’s not forget about hobbies. You can do your hobbies, be it gardening, cooking, listening and playing musical instruments, doing sports, or basically anything! Doing your hobby–while it doesn’t interfere with your obligations–is good for your mental health. Don’t forget, too, that you can choose to do social work, for instance, by participating in volunteering events. Through volunteering, you can get to know new people, give-back to your surroundings, gain new perspectives, and learn to be grateful for the life you have. If you haven’t known about this, we, Project Child Indonesia, constantly provide a place for you to contribute as a volunteer in our programs. You can check our website and social media to learn more about it!

Now that you have tried several ways to avoid things that might bring you anxiety, you can actually feel the Joy of Missing Out, or JOMO. When you feel okay being left out of the trends, you can actually achieve more than you can think of. You will get to spend more time doing something genuinely productive, which helps your own self-development. I know, I know, it is not as easy as it might sound. Getting away from my phone and doing other activities? How would you expect me to do that!? Well, I expect you to do it slowly but surely! A little progress is still progress, and remember to not force yourself!

References:

Milyavskaya, M., et al. (2018). Fear of missing out: prevalence, dynamics, and consequences of experiencing FOMO. Motivation and Emotion, 42, 725–737. doi:10.1007/s11031-018-9683-5

Przybylski, A. K., et al. (2013). Motivational, emotional, and behavioral correlates of fear of missing out. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(4), 1841–1848. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2013.02.014

SCL Health. (n.d). Why We Feel FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and What to Do About It. SCL Health. Retrieved from https://www.sclhealth.org/blog/2019/03/why-we-feel-fomo-and-what-to-do-about-it/

SCL Health. (n.d). Meditation Techniques from Beginner to Pro. SCL Health. Retrieved from https://www.sclhealth.org/blog/2018/09/a-peek-at-five-different-types-of-meditation/ 
Wortham, J. (2011). Feel like a wallflower? Maybe it’s your Facebook Wall. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/10/business/10ping.html

You in Your Favorite Characters: Accepting Your Flaws

Written by Amaranila Nariswari, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

Have you jumped on to the hot news of how Disney+ is currently undergoing the adaptation process of the Percy Jackson and the Olympian Series? This indeed is good news for all demigods out there! The Percy Jackson and the Olympian series has been a bestseller for more than a decade now, and it’s not out of nothing that the books have a lot of fans until today. The author of the series, Rick Riordan, has a way to captivate his readers’ hearts and mind through his writings. He managed to touch young-adult audiences by using relatable characters and references. 

Personally, I enjoyed reading the series a lot because of its main characters. The series revolves around the young Percy Jackson, his best friend Grover Underwood, and the smart-girl-daughter-of-Athena Annabeth Chase, whom he met when he first arrived at the special summer camp for demigods–Camp Half-Blood. The way Riordan wrote his books, it is as if I am a part of the gang, and throughout the first to the last book, I was growing with them. I can sense myself developing along with them. Most importantly, I begin to accept myself for who I am through my journey with the trio. 

Why, you ask? Riordan made me aware of my flaws by introducing the trio’s fatal flaws throughout the series. Before we continue discussing the trio’s weaknesses, let’s discuss why it is important to realize that every one of us owns at least one flaw. Remember that you are a human being and that nobody is perfect, but those imperfections are what settle you to the ground. It makes you, well, you, and know that you are likable because of your flaws. 

Through her book “You Are Enough: Embrace Your Flaws and Be Happy Being You”, Cheryl Rickman (2021) gave a good example of acknowledging and embracing our flaws. She said, remember why you loved your best friend, it’s not because of their looks, but the silliness you did together due to your flaws! Remember when you both almost fought because of a slight misunderstanding, BUT you’re just easily angered? *insert wink emojis here*. That sure was a memorable moment and shaped your friendship stronger, wasn’t it? 

Anyway, let’s get into the fun business! If you haven’t read the series yet, I’ll introduce you to my favorite trio and their humane flaws. I’m sure some of you can relate to theirs, because I do.

  1. The infamous Percy Jackson

Can you guess what Percy’s fatal flaw is? According to Athena, a.k.a the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy in PJO book 3, The Titan’s Curse, Percy has the fatal flaw of loyalty. While being loyal is good, Percy is considered too loyal to his friends, to the point he is very much predictable to his enemies. Well, some of you might think that being loyal is a good feature one should have, but sacrificing your own being for others is not always good. In fact, it is harmful to your mental state as you only care for your surroundings but not yourself. In order to maintain your physical and mental health, it is best if you could put yourself first before others because at the end of the day, only you are responsible for your own well-being.

  1. Annabeth-Not-Anyone’s-Sidekick-Chase

Annabeth has been one of my favorite characters for as long as I can remember. She is smart, brave, and independent. She managed to know what to do in all situations. Funnily, it is also her fatal flaw. In PJO book two, The Sea of Monster, she is portrayed as getting swayed by the hypnotic effect of the Siren’s singing. When Annabeth listened to it, she saw a world she had built. She thought she could make anything better than everyone else could. This is called hubris or deadly pride, which not seldom puts her and her friends in deadly situations. While being confident is good, remember that there is always room for improvement within us. So, take notes from your surroundings as everything can give us new learnings, every day, everywhere. Most importantly, push yourself to never stop learning!

  1. Grover Underwood, our favorite satyr best friend!

Ooh!! I know this one is very common! Yep, as far as I can see, Grover’s flaw is…insecurity. He did not develop a talent very well for a satyr his age at first. All satyrs in Camp Half-Blood are expected to become a searcher, searching for the god of the wild, Pan. Grover is no different, though. Being a searcher was his long-time dream, but he is insecure about his capabilities. However, with constant support from a lot of his friends, Grover is finally able to achieve that dream! Not only that, he became braver and more confident!. So, take notes to choose good friends, or better, be a good friend to others. I promise it will do you good in the future.

Finally, students, it’s time to review what we have learned from our lesson from earlier. First, remember to acknowledge your flaws. It is okay if you have more than one, or even a lot, it means that you know yourself well and are willing to improve yourself. To admit that you are flawed is already half of the process, and it’s not easy. But if you can manage, I promise it will be easier for you. Next, what you have to do is to embrace them. It is a part of you, and it shaped you to your ground. Make sure that those flaws do not put anyone at harm and work on them. Believe that you can be the better version of yourself, and to achieve that, surround yourself with good people. However, remember to always be kind to yourself. I know it will take some time for you to actually feel good after admitting your flaw, but let us be kind to ourselves. 

References:

Rickman, C. (2021). You Are Enough: Embrace Your Flaws and Be Happy Being You. Chichester, United Kingdom: Summersdale Publishers Limited.

Riordan, R. (2006). The Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 2). Los Angeles, California, United States: Hyperion/Miramax Kid.

Riordan, R. (2007). The Titan’s Curse (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book 3). Los Angeles, California, United States: Hyperion/Miramax Kid.