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Self Love: Self Acceptance and Self Forgiveness

Written by Vina Dina, Content Writer Intern Project Child Indonesia

When was the last time you embraced and accepted your true feelings?

When was the last time you didn’t blame yourself for all the mistakes that happened beyond your control?

When was the last time you stared at your reflection on the mirror and thank yourself for making this far?

If you did those things a long time ago, then do it again now. Look at your reflection in the mirror, put your hands on your chest, and say  “Thank you. Thank you myself for trying this hard. Thank you for not giving up even though you had hundreds of reasons for it. I’m so proud of you. You did great for standing until the end. It’s okay if you’ve made some mistakes because humans aren’t perfect. I forgive you and I love you”.

One of our common mistakes is to compare how we feel inside with how our friends appear outside

-Haemin Sunim

Accepting ourselves might be one of the hardest things to do because we tend to want to be perfect. We often worry about what other people think about us. We often feel not enough with our appearance, weight, skin conditions, and so many things that look like flaws. But, imperfections make us different and special, don’t they?

Source: Pinterest

Like blurry pictures, grain in photos, burnt in analog photos’ corners, those are imperfections that make a photo perfect. It also applies to us. The imperfection in ourselves that we can’t fix might be the ones that make us different, make us more attractive to others.

Source: Instagram The Depression Project

You need to love yourself as much as you love others. You are someone who brings you to this stage of life, someone you should  treat with kindness and compassion. You need to stop blaming yourself because something didn’t happen as planned,  stop looking at the mirror and blaming yourself because you feel not good enough, and please stop comparing yourself to someone you see through social media. The only person who has the right to be compared to who you are today is what you were in the past. When we have become better versions of  us in the past, that’s enough. Don’t be too hard on yourself because the world has been hard enough while teaching us to survive.

There will always be criticism and negative comments that could bring you down and whatever you do always looks wrong for some people. But darling, you are not born to be perfect and it’s not your job to fulfill everyone’s expectation. You are born to be you and there is only you in this world. No matter what people say about you, it doesn’t define you and won’t determine your destiny.

Let yourself rest. Let yourself to be not perfect. Let yourself to make some mistakes. Let yourself to feel broken. Let yourself be happy, sad or upset. Then,  forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being strong enough. Forgive yourself because of all the mistakes that you have done in the past because your past is a part of you that you need to accept and forgive. Forgive yourself and then rise again.

Loving yourself is not that easy. But you are not alone because there are so many people struggling too. It’s okay, self love is a long life process and we are so glad you want to start the journey of loving yourself now.

Here are some tips if you want to strengthen your self love:

  1. Practicing mindfulness and self compassion

    You can practice mindfulness and compassion by meditation called RAIN of Self-Compassion. RAIN is an acronym for Recognize what is going on; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nourish with self-compassion.
    You can meditate when you are feeling overwhelmed, so that you can practice to live in the moment, acknowledge and accept the reality in the moment, take care of what your are feeling and nourish it with self care. Give yourself permission to embrace what you feel in this moment.

  2. Daily affirmations

    We can easily say nice things to our friends but when it comes to ourselves, it becomes difficult. So, from now on, start to tell something nice to yourself such as “I am loved”, “I am enough”, “My past experiences do not define me”, and many more.
    You can find words of affirmation from Pinterest, Instagram account such Rara Noormega, Posi.plant, etc. I also want to recommend some books about self love. Those are “Love for Imperfect Things” by Haemin Sunim and “You are Enough” by Rara Noormega. Moreover, maybe you can find any positive affirmation by listening to musics .

  3. Self-care

    Self-care is the way we care for our mental, emotional and physical health. It could be recognizing and accepting our emotional state, getting enough sleep, eating healthier, using body care and skin care, exercising, forgiving yourself, taking time for yourself and facing your negative thoughts.
    In the middle of your busy life, take a few days to pamper yourself. Do something that makes you happy. It could be waking up in the morning, having a hot tube, having breakfast with your favorite meals, taking a walk in the park, shopping, reading a book, binge-watching movies, or anything.

There are so many things we can do to love ourselves because the form of self-love might be different from one another. But we hope you find your way to love yourself and never stop to love yourself because your existence matters.

Even products labeled “limited edition” are made on a production line with hundreds that are exactly the same. But there is only you in the world. Please cherish the unique individual that is you

-Haemin Sunim

Sources:

https://hellorelish.com/articles/self-care-101-how-to-love-yourself.html

https://www.lifehack.org/863539/learning-to-love-yourself

https://upliftconnect.com/a-simple-practice-to-strengthen-your-self-love/

pin.it/TrnubKJ(opens in a new tab)

https://pin.it/TrnubKJ

https://pin.it/57lqzjT

Hello me! Let’s be Friend

Written by Nindy Silvia Anggraini, Content Writer Intern Project Child Indonesia 

I was born as a social being. Interacting with other people has become a demand even before I was born. In my toddler, mother and father taught me how to speak, the purpose of which was to establish communication with them. As I grew up, I was introduced to a wider environment. The school requires me to socialize, interact, and make friends with those around me. People say, at least we must have one friend who will always be there for us to survive. Where we share stories, complain, laugh, cry, do many things together. People said we can’t live alone. People said life will be lighter when shared. Therefore I was demanded from childhood to always be kind in front of many people. Gathering people who can be my “friend” so that I didn’t get lonely. I try to hold my ego to be able to apply the value of the “each other” words in a friendship. Share, understand each other, love each other, everything is reciprocal. But do you mind if I think a little weird and different from you all?

I admit that I am a social being who needs others to survive. But don’t forget the fact that humans are also individual beings with their interests and difficulties. I am me with my own troubles, pleasures, responsibilities, and rights. In my opinion, how deep we build a friendship or whatever it is, in the end, we will fight on our own behalf. I don’t really into the basic value of “each other” words in friendship. I know that my friends have their own problems and excitement, and I think i don’t need to add to the burden of thinking about the problem I have. No, that doesn’t mean I censure the value of that beautiful friendship. I cherish it when there is someone who always cheering for my joy and crying along with my sadness. But doesn’t it means that I also have to do the opposite to “repay” their services? This is where my problem starts. I was too absorbed in my duties as a friend. No, I’m Not pretending to be attentive, but I feel that I worry too much about people around me and forget about myself struggling alone.

But it’s never too late for this. I have to be able to endure the label of a social being as well as an individual being. I am grateful for the presence of my friends. They were very helpful to my difficult times and they were also happy in my happy times. But from now on I will start to befriend myself. Understanding, appreciating, caring for, and caring for myself who have struggled through the days after days that I could not even predict the good and bad. Thank you for always surviving in all circumstances, happy friendship day, myself!

Hello Me! Let’s Be Friend

Ditulis oleh Nindy Silvia Anggraini, Penulis Konten Project Child Indonesia

Aku terlahir sebagai makhluk sosial. Berinteraksi dengan orang lain sudah menjadi sebuah tuntutan bahkan sejak sebelum aku dilahirkan. Di Umurku yang masih balita ibu dan ayah mengajariku cara berbicara yang tujuannya adalah membangun komunikasi dengan mereka. Beranjak dewasa, aku dipertemukan dengan lingkungan yang lebih luas. Sekolah menuntutku untuk bersosialisasi, berinteraksi dan menjalin pertemanan dengan mereka orang-orang di sekitarku. Kata orang, paling tidak kita harus memiliki satu teman yang akan selalu ada untuk kita untuk bertahan hidup. Tempat kita berbagi cerita, berkeluh kesah, tertawa, menangis, melakukan banyak hal bersama. Kata orang, kita tidak bisa hidup sendirian. Kata orang, hidup akan lebih ringan bila dipikul bersama. Oleh karena itu aku dituntut sejak kecil untuk selalu bersikap baik didepan banyak orang. Mengumpulkan orang-orang yang bisa kujadikan “temanku” agar aku tidak kesepian. Aku berusaha menahan egoku untuk bisa menerapkan nilai “saling” dalam sebuah hubungan pertemanan. Saling berbagi, saling mengerti, saling menyayangi, semuanya hubungan timbal balik. Tapi sebentar, bolehkah aku berfikir sedikit aneh dan berbeda dari kalian?

Aku mengakui bahwa aku makhluk sosial yang membutuhkan orang lain untuk bertahan hidup. Tapi jangan lupakan fakta bahwa manusia juga makhluk individu dengan kepentingan dan kesusahan mereka masing-masing. Aku adalah aku dengan kesusahan, kesenangan, tanggung jawab dan hak ku sendiri. Menurutku, seberapa dalam kita membangun sebuah hubungan pertemanan atau apapun itu, pada akhirnya kita akan berjuang sendiri demi diri kita sendiri. Sejak awal aku sedikit tidak setuju dengan nilai dasar dari hubungan pertemanan “saling”. Aku tahu mereka teman-temanku memiliki masalahnya dan kegembiraannya sendiri, dan aku merasa tidak perlu menambah bebannya untuk memikirkan tentang masalah yang kumiliki. Tidak, tidak berarti aku menyalahkan nilai persahabatan yang indah itu. Aku sangat menyukai ketika ada seseorang yang selalu bersorak untuk kegembiraanku dan ikut menangis bersama kesedihanku. Tapi bukankah aku juga harus melakukan sebaliknya untuk “membalas” jasanya? Disinilah masalahku dimulai. Aku terlalu larut dengan tugasku sebagai teman dan melupakan bahwa aku adalah diriku sendiri. Bukan berlagak sok perhatian, tapi aku merasa terlalu banyak mengkhawatirkan lingkungan sekitarku dan melupakan diriku yang sedang berjuang sendirian.

 Tapi tidak ada kata terlambat untuk ini. Aku harus bisa bertahan menyandang label makhluk sosial sekaligus makhluk individu. Aku bersyukur atas kehadiran teman-temanku. Mereka sangat membantu masa-masa sulitku dan mereka juga ikut senang di saat-saat bahagiaku. Tapi mulai saat ini aku akan mulai berteman dengan diriku sendiri. Memahami, menghargai, menjaga, dan merawat diriku sendiri yang sudah berjuang melewati hari demi hari yang aku sendiri tidak dapat prediksi baik dan buruknya. Terimakasih sudah selalu bertahan dalam segala keadaan, selamat hari persahabatan, diriku!