Written by Vina Dina, Content Writer Intern Project Child Indonesia
When was the last time you embraced and accepted your true feelings?
When was the last time you didn’t blame yourself for all the mistakes that happened beyond your control?
When was the last time you stared at your reflection on the mirror and thank yourself for making this far?
If you did those things a long time ago, then do it again now. Look at your reflection in the mirror, put your hands on your chest, and say “Thank you. Thank you myself for trying this hard. Thank you for not giving up even though you had hundreds of reasons for it. I’m so proud of you. You did great for standing until the end. It’s okay if you’ve made some mistakes because humans aren’t perfect. I forgive you and I love you”.
One of our common mistakes is to compare how we feel inside with how our friends appear outside-Haemin Sunim
Accepting ourselves might be one of the hardest things to do because we tend to want to be perfect. We often worry about what other people think about us. We often feel not enough with our appearance, weight, skin conditions, and so many things that look like flaws. But, imperfections make us different and special, don’t they?
Like blurry pictures, grain in photos, burnt in analog photos’ corners, those are imperfections that make a photo perfect. It also applies to us. The imperfection in ourselves that we can’t fix might be the ones that make us different, make us more attractive to others.
You need to love yourself as much as you love others. You are someone who brings you to this stage of life, someone you should treat with kindness and compassion. You need to stop blaming yourself because something didn’t happen as planned, stop looking at the mirror and blaming yourself because you feel not good enough, and please stop comparing yourself to someone you see through social media. The only person who has the right to be compared to who you are today is what you were in the past. When we have become better versions of us in the past, that’s enough. Don’t be too hard on yourself because the world has been hard enough while teaching us to survive.
There will always be criticism and negative comments that could bring you down and whatever you do always looks wrong for some people. But darling, you are not born to be perfect and it’s not your job to fulfill everyone’s expectation. You are born to be you and there is only you in this world. No matter what people say about you, it doesn’t define you and won’t determine your destiny.
Let yourself rest. Let yourself to be not perfect. Let yourself to make some mistakes. Let yourself to feel broken. Let yourself be happy, sad or upset. Then, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being strong enough. Forgive yourself because of all the mistakes that you have done in the past because your past is a part of you that you need to accept and forgive. Forgive yourself and then rise again.
Loving yourself is not that easy. But you are not alone because there are so many people struggling too. It’s okay, self love is a long life process and we are so glad you want to start the journey of loving yourself now.
Here are some tips if you want to strengthen your self love:
- Practicing mindfulness and self compassion
You can practice mindfulness and compassion by meditation called RAIN of Self-Compassion. RAIN is an acronym for Recognize what is going on; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nourish with self-compassion.
You can meditate when you are feeling overwhelmed, so that you can practice to live in the moment, acknowledge and accept the reality in the moment, take care of what your are feeling and nourish it with self care. Give yourself permission to embrace what you feel in this moment.
- Daily affirmations
We can easily say nice things to our friends but when it comes to ourselves, it becomes difficult. So, from now on, start to tell something nice to yourself such as “I am loved”, “I am enough”, “My past experiences do not define me”, and many more.
You can find words of affirmation from Pinterest, Instagram account such Rara Noormega, Posi.plant, etc. I also want to recommend some books about self love. Those are “Love for Imperfect Things” by Haemin Sunim and “You are Enough” by Rara Noormega. Moreover, maybe you can find any positive affirmation by listening to musics .
Self-care is the way we care for our mental, emotional and physical health. It could be recognizing and accepting our emotional state, getting enough sleep, eating healthier, using body care and skin care, exercising, forgiving yourself, taking time for yourself and facing your negative thoughts.
In the middle of your busy life, take a few days to pamper yourself. Do something that makes you happy. It could be waking up in the morning, having a hot tube, having breakfast with your favorite meals, taking a walk in the park, shopping, reading a book, binge-watching movies, or anything.
There are so many things we can do to love ourselves because the form of self-love might be different from one another. But we hope you find your way to love yourself and never stop to love yourself because your existence matters.
Even products labeled “limited edition” are made on a production line with hundreds that are exactly the same. But there is only you in the world. Please cherish the unique individual that is you-Haemin Sunim