Tag Archive for: positivity

If Staying Alive Was Your Greatest Achievement So Far…

Written by: Dhiandra Sekar Taji, Social Media Admin intern at Project Child Indonesia

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind  when you hear the words “staying alive”?  Is it a famous The Bee Gees song that was released in 1977? Or John Travolta’s stunning performance in the “Saturday Night Fever” movie when he sang “Staying Alive”? Well, if you say so, you’re not totally wrong because it’s true that in 1977 The Bee Gees released a mega hit called “Staying Alive”, and at the same year, John Travolta sang that song in the “Saturday Night Fever” movie. But, right now we’re not talking about The Bee Gees’s mega hit or John Travolta’s stunning performance; rather, we are talking about one of the biggest goals that we’ve made this year, which is staying alive.

Maybe some of you are wondering why staying alive is such an achievement, or you think that staying alive is so easy; you just have to live the day and enjoy your life and maybe cry if you get into problems while doing so. 

But for some people, staying alive is such an important achievement; surviving in this merciless world may feel like a challenging game. You spend hours upon hours comparing yourself to others. It’s a never-ending competition that you have between you and others. And the only thing that you get as a result of doing that is pain. The pain that causes negativity towards your mind. You will think that you’re not as good as them and you will think that you’re a useless person. 

Nonetheless,  you have to remember that every person has their own pace. Some of them are privileged enough to get to ride an airplane the moment they were born. Some aren’t as lucky as them and have to crawl to get to where they are right now. Then again, everyone does have their own timeline and pace in achieving or reaching to where they wanna be. Even those in airplanes can experience turbulence. 

This year might be hard for many people. This year may have knocked you down, leaving you gasping for air, and wishing for the strength to carry on with your life. As you try to stay still another minute, another day, or another month, your heart may have grown heavy and your soul may feel exhausted. If you keep blaming yourself for not accomplishing your wildest dream, you have to realize that you’ve already accomplished the most important breakthrough: surviving an unbearable pain.

As the sun sets on a heartbreaking year and you reflect on the life you left behind, I hope you remember that you’ve achieved the biggest victory in your life: living when every breath hurts, loving while every piece of your heart hurts, and surviving while everything is going wrong. 

If staying alive is your biggest achievement that you accomplish this year, I just want to say that I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you for putting yourself first. I am so proud of you because you keep going after everything you’ve been through. I am so proud of you and you deserve all the love and wonderful things in this world. 

World Compliment Day: Your Starter Kit

Written by Mikhael Sianturi, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia.

World Compliment Day?

World Compliment Day. It is the day of complimenting your coworker’s work, your colleague’s proposal, your lover’s looks, or even your pets for being the good boys or girls they are! Hans Poortvliet began the idea in the Netherlands back in the 2000s and it was an instant success due to its participants, which saw no boundary. Anyone could participate because to do so only meant giving someone a compliment. With the success, the day eventually became international. 

However, it is no secret that giving compliments is tricky for some people around the world due to the obstacles. These obstacles mainly originate from the anxiety that people feel when thinking about complimenting something from someone. Compliments are not always welcomed nicely, and this is what people are mostly anxious about. According to Hammond-Chaffin, Willis, Murley, and Inman, one may welcome a compliment or mitigate it by either deflecting it, questioning it, or downgrading it. They may also request further explanation regarding the compliment, give no response, or worse, reject it (Hammond-Chaffin et al, 2017, p. 3-4). 

Complimenting Starter Kit

It does sound like the odds of a welcomed compliment being welcomed are rare. But people should stop worrying about them! According to a study on behaviorist.biz where a survey about people’s feelings to compliments given to them, the recipient overall felt positive. The study points out that the positivity of the recipient was underestimated. It also pointed out that the prediction to how bothered the recipient the researchers thought they were going to be was drastically overestimated. 

So, now that it is clear that the reality is not so harsh, what kind of compliment should you convey? In general, there are two types: impersonal compliments and personal compliments. Impersonal compliments are those about something that may change on the person, such as the attire. The personal ones are those that generally do not change, such as the eyes or the hair (Hammond-Chaffin et al, 2017, p. 6). According to a survey conducted by Hammond-Chaffin, Willis, Murley, and Inman, either type will receive the same response, so it does not matter.

They used the 2 x 2 between-subjects analysis of variance (ANOVA) that had gender (male vs. female) and experimental condition (type of compliment-personal vs. impersonal) as the between-subjects factor. With this method, they found no drastic differences between the scores of how both sexes reacted to both types of compliments. So either your partner has dressed ever so nicely, or your coworker’s amazing punctuality, or your friend’s kind attitude, do send that compliment away. 

It is something a lot of people starve for, yet its existence is rarely recognized. It is much like how people starve for physical affection (read: hugs). Compliment someone for something nice about them and the person may smile for the entire day in a goofy manner. It would very much make the person’s day because #everyonecandogood.

References:

Hammond-Chaffin, A., Willis, D., Murley, R., Inman, J. (2017). Null Effects of Compliments on Male and Female Positive Affect. University of Michigan-Flint.

Hobson, N. (2020, September 30). Underestimating the impact of compliments. Retrieved March 01, 2021, from https://www.behaviorist.biz/oh-behave-a-blog/complimenting-others