Tag Archive for: love

Valentine’s Day: Parents’ Love

Written by Nathaniel Alvino Risa Prima, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Have you grabbed a box of chocolate? Or perhaps, buy some cute flowers for your loved ones? Well, if you haven’t yet, don’t get too pressured. Not everyone is into Valentine. Let alone into chocolate or flowers. That’s totally okay.

People out there always associate Valentine’s Day with some romantic-related agendas. It’s usually referred to romantic partners like boyfriend and girlfriend, or even, husband and wife. Hmm, I know a couple in their 40’s and they’re still celebrating Valentine each year. It’s kind of sweet, isn’t it?

Regardless of the festive and hype everywhere you turn your head, not so many people remember that Valentine is just another day of love celebration. If you look upon the calendar, February 14th is definitely not the only day when you can spend time with your loved ones and buy them chocolate. Or in any way, to show them what love is!

Love is anywhere and anytime. It’s transcendental.

The same goes with parents’ love.

I have forgotten the last time I celebrated Valentine’s Day with my parents. While they were actually the ones who introduced me to it. During Valentine’s Day, my mother always buys me chocolate (she loves chocolate!) when I was a kid. I will buy her nothing because simply, I didn’t have money when I was too little.

And no, it’s not about the chocolate, though. It’s about the love gesture that my mother teaches me.

Valentine might be an example of when my parents (and indeed, many parents out there) show their love to their kids. While in fact, there are still other 364 days and beyond when parents endlessly exhibit the act of love.

Parents’ love is the kind of love that is warmth, near, and everlasting. Sometimes, when you talk about the love of your boyfriend or girlfriend, there is still a sort of humane uncertainty where you need more assurance about their love. I think parents’ love doesn’t work to that extreme. It’s more assured!

Growing up, I read a lot of passages and books which say that parents “fall in love” to their kids since they are still in the womb. It’s a bit tacky when you think about someone who falls in love with another human that is literally unseen. But hey, isn’t it the context of love? It’s always been the matter of feeling. It’s indeed unseen, but you can always feel it deep down thoroughly. Anywhere and anytime.

Love Through Sacrifices

When you were a kid, you might not understand the sacrifices that your parents made. You realized it when you’re much older. Some of you might always wonder why your parents go to work every day and they “leave” you at home. Well, maybe you were just too naive back then. But at least, for now, you have to understand that they leave to provide you with a living.

They just want to make you happy.

They might spend the possibly-horrible day at work from nine to five or even beyond, so that you could smile with your stomach full. Even until now, some of you still rely on your parents, so that you could go to school and buy cool stuff. Nothing’s bad with that. My point is that you have to realize that, at least at a point in your life, you can’t live without your parents’ support.

If you think about it deeply, there are so many things that your parents have to sacrifice so that you could survive. Once you take a paper and pen, the list will be rather very long. And sadly, you might not remember them all – proving how parents’ sacrifices go unnoticed to their children.    

So, on this Valentine’s Day, try to recollect the good things that your parents have done to you. In the past to the present. It might be nostalgic for most of us and for some, it would be rather an emotional roller coaster. Talking about my parents might be a teary-sensitive topic. So, do it only when you’re truly ready!

For all the good parents out there, whose love is always warmth and sincere, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Self Love: Self Acceptance and Self Forgiveness

Written by Vina Dina, Content Writer Intern Project Child Indonesia

When was the last time you embraced and accepted your true feelings?

When was the last time you didn’t blame yourself for all the mistakes that happened beyond your control?

When was the last time you stared at your reflection on the mirror and thank yourself for making this far?

If you did those things a long time ago, then do it again now. Look at your reflection in the mirror, put your hands on your chest, and say  “Thank you. Thank you myself for trying this hard. Thank you for not giving up even though you had hundreds of reasons for it. I’m so proud of you. You did great for standing until the end. It’s okay if you’ve made some mistakes because humans aren’t perfect. I forgive you and I love you”.

One of our common mistakes is to compare how we feel inside with how our friends appear outside

-Haemin Sunim

Accepting ourselves might be one of the hardest things to do because we tend to want to be perfect. We often worry about what other people think about us. We often feel not enough with our appearance, weight, skin conditions, and so many things that look like flaws. But, imperfections make us different and special, don’t they?

Source: Pinterest

Like blurry pictures, grain in photos, burnt in analog photos’ corners, those are imperfections that make a photo perfect. It also applies to us. The imperfection in ourselves that we can’t fix might be the ones that make us different, make us more attractive to others.

Source: Instagram The Depression Project

You need to love yourself as much as you love others. You are someone who brings you to this stage of life, someone you should  treat with kindness and compassion. You need to stop blaming yourself because something didn’t happen as planned,  stop looking at the mirror and blaming yourself because you feel not good enough, and please stop comparing yourself to someone you see through social media. The only person who has the right to be compared to who you are today is what you were in the past. When we have become better versions of  us in the past, that’s enough. Don’t be too hard on yourself because the world has been hard enough while teaching us to survive.

There will always be criticism and negative comments that could bring you down and whatever you do always looks wrong for some people. But darling, you are not born to be perfect and it’s not your job to fulfill everyone’s expectation. You are born to be you and there is only you in this world. No matter what people say about you, it doesn’t define you and won’t determine your destiny.

Let yourself rest. Let yourself to be not perfect. Let yourself to make some mistakes. Let yourself to feel broken. Let yourself be happy, sad or upset. Then,  forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being strong enough. Forgive yourself because of all the mistakes that you have done in the past because your past is a part of you that you need to accept and forgive. Forgive yourself and then rise again.

Loving yourself is not that easy. But you are not alone because there are so many people struggling too. It’s okay, self love is a long life process and we are so glad you want to start the journey of loving yourself now.

Here are some tips if you want to strengthen your self love:

  1. Practicing mindfulness and self compassion

    You can practice mindfulness and compassion by meditation called RAIN of Self-Compassion. RAIN is an acronym for Recognize what is going on; Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care; Nourish with self-compassion.
    You can meditate when you are feeling overwhelmed, so that you can practice to live in the moment, acknowledge and accept the reality in the moment, take care of what your are feeling and nourish it with self care. Give yourself permission to embrace what you feel in this moment.

  2. Daily affirmations

    We can easily say nice things to our friends but when it comes to ourselves, it becomes difficult. So, from now on, start to tell something nice to yourself such as “I am loved”, “I am enough”, “My past experiences do not define me”, and many more.
    You can find words of affirmation from Pinterest, Instagram account such Rara Noormega, Posi.plant, etc. I also want to recommend some books about self love. Those are “Love for Imperfect Things” by Haemin Sunim and “You are Enough” by Rara Noormega. Moreover, maybe you can find any positive affirmation by listening to musics .

  3. Self-care

    Self-care is the way we care for our mental, emotional and physical health. It could be recognizing and accepting our emotional state, getting enough sleep, eating healthier, using body care and skin care, exercising, forgiving yourself, taking time for yourself and facing your negative thoughts.
    In the middle of your busy life, take a few days to pamper yourself. Do something that makes you happy. It could be waking up in the morning, having a hot tube, having breakfast with your favorite meals, taking a walk in the park, shopping, reading a book, binge-watching movies, or anything.

There are so many things we can do to love ourselves because the form of self-love might be different from one another. But we hope you find your way to love yourself and never stop to love yourself because your existence matters.

Even products labeled “limited edition” are made on a production line with hundreds that are exactly the same. But there is only you in the world. Please cherish the unique individual that is you

-Haemin Sunim

Sources:

https://hellorelish.com/articles/self-care-101-how-to-love-yourself.html

https://www.lifehack.org/863539/learning-to-love-yourself

https://upliftconnect.com/a-simple-practice-to-strengthen-your-self-love/

pin.it/TrnubKJ(opens in a new tab)

https://pin.it/TrnubKJ

https://pin.it/57lqzjT

Love: The Secret of Success

Written by Graciella Ganadhi, Content Writer
Project Child Indonesia

There are many definitions of success. Some people describe success with wealth, while some say that to be successful is if you can show kindness in every situation. In reality, success is subjective. Different people have different opinions on the definition of success. However, no matter what your definition of success is, shouldn’t the ultimate goal is to be happy?

Many factors contribute to someone’s success. Financial support is one, of course. Those who are born privileged with enough resources to support their needs, especially their education, should have higher chances of being successful. Fortunately, money isn’t everything. How many cases of rich children being neglected, deprived of affection and attention, and had turned out unhappy?

In parenting, love and affection should be the primary concern. Children need to grow up in a loving and supportive environment. Many Asians parents opt not to give a physical touch to their children out of old habits or traditions. However, a study has shown that a physical touch is an essential factor if you want your child to grow up successful. It improves confidence and self-image tremendously.

“12 hugs a day, keep the doctor away,” they say.

Other than mere physical touch, attention is essential for the success of a child. As parents, you have to differentiate between good and bad attention. Minimize the usage of negation such as: “Don’t play with your food!”, instead start saying: “Good job on finishing your food!” and start praising their good behavior. Not only will this help keep their behavior in check, but it will also help them develop a good self-image.

The celebration of Valentine’s Day should not only be wasted celebrating lovers. Valentine’s Day should be a day where we celebrate any type of love. All human beings need love, after all. Parents should show their love to their children more explicitly and vice versa. There is no harm in showing affection. So, spread love and kindness, everyone!

References: