Tag Archive for: family

Should Individuals With Intellectual Disabilities Bear Children?

Written by Amaranila Nariswari, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

If you’re into controversial ideas, maybe you’ve heard people talking about how individuals with intellectual disabilities (ID) should not be allowed to bear children. Some say they tend to have a lower ability to develop skills needed for day-to-day survival like communication and interpersonal skills, including self-awareness and empathy. Is it true, though, that ID people should not bear children? Personally, I am against this idea. For me, it is selfish, and I could not see any logical reasons behind it (I had to create a debate simulation with my friend to check both the pro and cons arguments, still, I could not find it acceptable to deny every human’s right to bear children!). I must admit, though, this controversial subject is interesting to discuss!

Before we proceed, it is important to know different types of ID. According to Byrd (2020), there are two dimensions of people with ID: one concerning their intellectual functioning and the other is related to their adaptive behaviors. Intellectual functioning is highly related to what we know as the intelligence quotient or the IQ, in which a test can measure. It is related to one’s learning ability, decision-making, reasoning, and problem-solving. On average, people score between 85 to 115, while those scoring under 75 or 70 are considered low intelligence. On the other hand, adaptive behaviors are related to how people communicate, understand others, and take care of themselves. A concrete test like the IQ doesn’t usually measure adaptive behaviors. Instead, it needs to be observed and measured by a specialist by comparing one’s behavior with others of the same age. 

Is ID genetically inherited? Well, yes, and no. Conditions like Down Syndrome and Fragile X Syndrome are usually inherited. However, ID cases are not as common as we thought they were. According to the American Psychiatric Association, ID affects 1% of the population, while 85% out of it have mild ID (APA, 2021). Some other IDs in children can be caused by the condition of the mother’s pregnancy or situations during childbirth, like consuming alcohol during pregnancy, lack of nutrition needed, or the babies being born way too early (Byrd, 2020). This is why expecting women should really pay attention to themselves and the baby and get their pregnancy routinely checked. 

Aside from being genetically inherited or situations during pregnancy and childbirth, more common causes of ID children are caused by how they are nurtured. Like whether ID people should not be allowed to bear children, the psychological debate over nature versus nurture has also been around for some time now. Psychologists have discussed which one affects more significant human development (Cherry, 2020). Nativists believe that one’s behavior is ‘wired’ from the very beginning, under the influence of the genetic code the parents have. In contrast, Empiricists believe that babies are born like a blank canvas, which will gradually be filled with what they learn along the way they grow. I can’t say which one is correct and which one is not, for I believe that both have their right-and-can-be-proven points. If you’re interested in this topic, I suggest you look more into it by reading psychological journals and readings. Even though both are correct, if we look into our environment, we can see that nurture plays a very important role in child development. When children are badly nurtured, they tend to fail developing skills children need, like understanding their environment and differentiating which behavior is suitable for children their age. 

These days I’ve been watching a kid in my neighborhood selling rice boxes every day. I don’t know where he came from, but I see him in his usual spot everyday, sleeping on hard concrete beside his old bicycle and looking tired. I feel sad as I believe children his age should not spend their time collecting money, but instead study and play with their friends. Learning and playing with friends is a privilege this kid doesn’t have. He might not be identified as an ID person. However, the environment he lives in does not rule out the possibility of this kid failing to develop the skills needed to survive. Instead of prohibiting ID people from bearing children, negligent parents shouldn’t have children. No parents are perfect. However, before having children, it is important to understand that parental roles include ensuring that your children’s basic needs are met, especially in terms of education and safety, including love and care for them. 

Children raised by negligent parents tend to perform lower in almost every aspect of their lives, especially academically and in skills revolving around social and emotional (Zahedani et al., 2016). This is harmful to the children, as they will be late to understand how things should be done in real life. What can we do, though, if we see cases of negligent parents? You can help the children by giving them company, talking to their parents, and if the issue is bad, please, report it to the Child Protection Commission. However, before we see the act of negligence, we have to try to prevent it by introducing a child-friendly environment and socialization regarding taking good care of children. Remember, children cannot choose who their parents are, but they sometimes have to bear their parents’ mistakes (in which they should NOT). As privileged people who understand the importance of children’s development, it would be good if we could bat an eye at our environment, ensuring no more harm is done to children.

References:

APA. 2021. What Is Intellectual Disability? American Psychiatric Association. Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/intellectual-disability/what-is-intellectual-disability#:~:text=Additionally%2C%20the%20intellectual%20and%20adaptive,be%20diagnosed%20with%20intellectual%20disability

Byrd, Florence. 2020. Intellectual Disability. WebMD. Retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/child-intellectual-disability 

Cherry, Kendra. 2020. The Age Old Debate of Nature vs. Nurture. Very Well Mind. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-nature-versus-nurture-2795392

Zahedani, Zahed et al. (2016). The influence of parenting style on academic achievement and career path. J Adv Med Educ Prof. 2016;4(3):130-134. 

5 Recipes to Make Your New Year’s Eve Special

Written by Dhiandra Sekar Taji, Social Media Admin Intern at Project Child Indonesia

It’s almost December! It means we are almost ready to ring in the new year with a bang! But, unfortunately the pandemic is still not over yet. Many of us will be settling in for an evening on the couch rather than going out for a night on the town. But just because your new year’s eve is different from the previous year doesn’t mean it can’t be joyful and meaningful. With just the proper amount of planning, you can still throw the New Year’s Eve blast at home with a lot of things to do. 

The last day of the year is one of the most important days in our life. Let’s take a look back for a second. The past few months have been challenging for us and New Year’s Eve is an ideal time to reflect on the things that we’ve done and reset our life. Like seriously, what better day than the last day of the year to reflect on all the things that you’ve accomplished and overcome?  So, before the clock strikes 12, here’s a highlight reel of ways to ring in the new year.

Outfit Time!

Who says you can’t dress up with your fancy clothes for evening chilling at the couch? Of Course you can! There’s no need to break tradition this year if you usually wear your best dress for New Year’s Eve. Other than that, you can do a family photoshoot at home with your fancy clothes. Also you can do candle light dinner with your family to match the vibes. Sounds fun and fancy at the same time right?

Baking

Baking is the best thing to do on the last day of the year because it takes a lot of time to spend. After a year like 2021, we all deserve a good treat to ourselves. You can try to make appetizers and desserts for chilling on the couch because it’ll reduce the mess of forks and knives without sacrificing good eats so you don’t have to worry about messing up your fancy dress. Don’t forget to grab some coke to accompany your chilling time!

Movie Time

If counting down the time for new year is not your thing, maybe you can watch some movies. Staying up all night while watching movies is a fantastic way to ring in the new year, so make sure your movie queue is ready! Oh, don’t forget to grab some snacks because watching movies without snacks is the worst thing ever.

Host a Virtual Game Night and Video Call With Your Loved Ones

It’s so sad that we can’t be with all of our family and friends on New Year’s Eve. But, it’s okay, you still can catch up with them virtually. You can play some virtual games on the internet or you could ask your friends to make a prediction for the new year about each other. This game can be fun especially when the predictions are a little out there. Don’t forget to ask them to save the prediction at their notes so it can be a proof which friend makes the right and the wrong predictions. Sounds crazy and fun at the same time right?

Write Down Your Resolutions

I guess new year new me won’t happen if you don’t write it down about it. After you’ve completed your year-end reflections for the previous year, it’s time to look forward to the upcoming year. You can write about your dreams, things to do, things to buy, or anything you want. Also you can try one of these simple lifestyle changes every day. You’ll not only kickstart a healthier body and mind, but you’ll also feel great and ready to make 2022 a much better year than ever

So, there’s no reason to spend the last day of the year with boring activities just because right now we are in the middle of the pandemic right? Well, good luck and may the upcoming year be filled with unforgettable memories and amazing people. Forget about all the bad things that happened to you last year and enjoy a fresh start. 

References:

Gordon. (2021, January 3). 10 Ways to Make New Year’s Eve 2020 Special. Verywellmind.Com. Retrieved November 21, 2021, from https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-make-new-year-s-eve-special-this-year-5092485

Labianca. (2020, December 29). 18 Festive Quarantine New Year’s Eve  Ideas to Ring in 2021. Goodhousekeeping.com. Retrieved November 21,  2021, from https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/g34704057/quarantine-new-years-eve-ideas/

Morillo. (2020, December 23). 11 Totally Fun Ways To Celebrate New Year’s Eve At Home This Year. Delish.Com. Retrieved November 21, 2021, from https://www.delish.com/holiday-recipes/g34934794/quarantine-new-years-eve-ideas/

4 Heartwarming Movies For The End-Year

Written by Nathaniel Alvino Risa Prima, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

This year has been a really tough fight for each of us, especially due to the COVID-19 pandemic and its corollaries. For some, staying productive might not be the peak priority and that’s totally okay! Instead, the most important thing is that you have gotten through all the challenges. Kudos for that and thank you very much for surviving!

Well, in the other news, we now arrive at the other side of the year: the holiday season!

Some might have been lucky enough to meet and gather with their families and other loved ones, while some have to remain away due to the personal responsibilities and pandemic policies. Wherever you are and whatever you are up to currently, I only wish you peace, happiness, and comfort! 

For many, spending time in front of a big-screen to watch movies would bring happiness and recreation – even, to the degree of personal liberation. Thanks to technology and digital advancement, there are so many platforms and types of entertainment that one could find easily nowadays. You can even watch cinematic works through your very own laptop! 

Therefore, in the current opportunity, I’ll provide you with some great movie recommendations to get yourself through this cold, rainy season. Most of them might not be the freshest nor the most popular, though. But trust me, they would do justice to spark your joy and imagination, as well as bringing warmth within! 

Minari (Lee Isaac Chung, PG-13, 2020, 1h 55m)

(Source: IMDB, 2021)

If you are around with your family during this holiday, then Minari (2021) is a must-go! Telling the story of Korean Americans who moved from South Korea to Arkansas, the movie highlights the intimate relationship as well as internal turbulence of a diaspora family: Jacob, Monica, Anne, David, and Soonja. Unlike most modern Korean families who rely on corporated services, trade, and industry in either East Coast or West Coast, Yi’s family hangs their lives on the future of farming in the isolated Southern town named Ozark. 

The cinematic piece denotes the struggle faced by first generation immigrants in the foreign land which includes the question regarding one’s belonging and identity, with family as its main theme. Starring Steven Yeun, Yeri Han, Noel Cho, Alan S. Kim, and Yuh-Jung Youn, Minari (2021) would bring you to a type of emotional trip that is rather tranquil in notion. Through the beautiful delivery and warm setting of Arkansas farmland, it’s indeed a good companion through the cold, rainy weather. 

Luca (Enrico Casarosa, PG, 2021, 1h 35m)

(Source: IMDB, 2021)

Some movies are meant to surprise the audience for a short term, and while the others leave a certain impression that lasts long. Luca (2021) is one of the laters!

No one would get bored while being brought to the warm and serene setting of Southern Italy – with clear ocean, vespa, and pasta! Depicted through attractive animations by Pixar, the movie revolves around the story of friendship between Luca, Alberto, and Giulia. 

Under what appears as ‘typical’, there is a little secret between the three: they are coming from two different worlds. Thus, their friendship is being truly examined. Would Luca, Alberto, and Giulia be able to jump across the fence and remain together as they’re always meant to be? Nothing could explain better than watching the piece yourself! If you are away from your family, Luca (2021) would certainly fit to be watched with your close friends! 

Tick, Tick… Boom (Lin Manuel Miranda, PG-13, 2021, 1h 55m)

(Source: IMDB, 2021)

Well, well, if you love watching movies with musical scores, then Tick, Tick… Boom (2021) should be on your refreshed list! In the other news, it’s a one in a million occasion to encounter the ex-Spiderman, Andrew Garfield’s singing, right?

Departing from the real lives of Broadway legend, Jonathan Larson, the piece highlights the “Bohemian” lives that an artist has been put through, in order to reach their goals. The cold and catastrophe nuance of The Big Apple would help the audience to get a closer look to the darker side in the lives of creative and artistic individuals. It also intertwines with the early-AIDS pandemic in the 1980’s which heavily affected many lives and futures.. 

If you are a real dreamer whose dream is not perceived as worthy enough by the society you currently live in, then this movie might get you in a good, emotional cry! 

Flipped (Rob Reiner, 2010, PG, 1h 30m)

(Source: IMDB, 2010)

Unlike common coming-of-age stories, Flipped (2010) revolves around the two eighth-graders in the 1950’s. The two protagonists, Bryce and Juli, were destined to encounter each other’s presence along the high sycamore tree which grows in the middle of an American suburb.

The heartwarming part about the movies would be the relationship surrounds the lives of young teenagers – when digitalization and technology advancement were not as apparent as nowadays; the scene of school, neighborhood, family, and front yard would let the viewers to take a step into the depth of American golden era in the post-World War II. It’s a kind of movie which would make you smile warmly throughout due to the cute little things! 

Hmm, now, are you ready to grab your snacks and do some binge-watchings?

Well, if you have any other suggestions, don’t forget to put them on your lists. Make it a long one. During this special holiday, spend as many times as possible with some good stuff to watch with your loved ones.

Don’t forget to stay warm and healthy throughout this end year as the weather might be out of control. It’s really cold and rainy outside. Please relax and take a break from everything for a while. You deserve all of the comforts and warmth.

Happy holiday and take care!

References

IMDb.com. (2010, September 10th). Flipped (2010). IMDb. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0817177/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

IMDb.com. (2021, June 18th). Luca (2021). IMDb. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12801262/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

IMDb.com. (2021, August 5). Minari (2020). IMDb. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10633456/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

IMDb.com. (2021, November 19th). Tick, Tick. . . Boom! (2021). IMDb. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8721424/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

Family Quality Time and How It Affects Us

Written by Juhandi Dwi Putra Lyana, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

On June 22, 2021, Fast and Furious 9 was released. The film is basically about a street race that brings the power of family in its narration. There are even a lot of memes on the internet about the plot itself where Dominic Toretto, the protagonist of Fast and Furious series played by Vin Diesel, and his team considers each other as family, talk about its importance and express willingness to take risks and make sacrifices to protect each other. 

From that film, it makes me realize the importance of family. No matter what happens, there will be a family behind you. How bruised we are and how far we go, family is one of the places which will always welcome us back. I know the memes are funny, but still, it gives me a goosebump. 

Family is the first stage in our life. It can be said that every aspect of our life started in the family. How a kid interacts with relationships, copes with events, and learns about living life is heavily influenced by the family in which they grow up. It’s only possible if we proactively be a part of the family. We can imagine if our own family, our first stage, is not safe. Then it will affect our next step in life.

Let me ask you, when was the last time you spent quality time with your family? Or when was the last time you spare your time to make a quality time with your family?

Sometimes, we are so busy that we forget about having quality time with our family. Your dad, mom, or siblings may be wondering about how you are right now. It is okay to be productive and busy, but remember to spare a couple of times to meet your family and spend quality time with them.

What is the significance of quality time with family? Let me explain it to you.

  1. Increasing family bonding

Spending time together as a family creates stronger emotional bonds. According to studies, families that participate in group activities together have a deeper emotional link and are better able to adjust to events as a family.

  1. Building self-esteem

Children who spend time with their parents doing activities together develop  high self-esteem. When children feel that they are valued by their parents, they feel more positive about themselves. 

  1. Developing communication skill

Children observe their parents’ interactions with one another and with others to learn how to behave and communicate. Family bonding time is a great method to model desired behaviors, and spending time together as a family may help parents connect with their kids and communicate more effectively.

Family activities do not have to be costly things to be meaningful. The key thing is to spend time together. When it comes to the time we spend with our family, we often assume it is all about the quantity of time we spend with them, when in reality, it is about the quality of time we spend with them. We need to be more concerned with how we spend our time with family than with the number of hours we spend with them. 

Now that you know why family time is important, why don’t you try to be like Dominic Toretto? Spending more time with your family can help you establish a strong family bond, and you will remain together through the good times as well as the bad.

Family as the Safe Place for Children

Written by Juhandi Dwi Putra Lyana, Content Writer Intern at Project Child Indonesia

“I wish I grew up in a house where I wasn’t afraid to make mistakes, or where I could approach my parents without fear of being judged or disgraced.”

How many times have you heard those words? Or how many times have you said those words? Growing up in a good family is such a blessing for us. It can also be said as a privilege. Some of us have it, and others don’t. 

Family is the most fundamental element of our society. It can be said that life begins in the family, for example, we learn how to write, to speak, or to behave. It has been proven that children acquire a variety of experiences in varied family situations by participating in various activities and are constantly exposed to a range of influence and expectations from the people with whom they live. Therefore, it is really important to realize that we, as someone who will build a family or have children, need to create a good environment for the sake of their development. 

A good environment in this context is a “safe” place for children to grow. They learn and explore their potential. They feel safe to ask and to experience something without any pressure. Unfortunately, we sometimes forget about this and blame the outside environment for the bad influences which happen to children. So, at this moment, I want to share about what we can do as an adult in the family. 

What can we do?

Let’s start by choosing our words wisely. The voice we use to talk to our children will be the voice they take with them for the rest of their lives. What we say and feel about them forms the foundation of their self-esteem. We need to reflect with our family, “Is this family a positive place for them to thrive in or a family that is full of hurtful words and actions?”. A voice of encouragement, love, and patience, support, and acceptance. This is the voice we should instill in our children. No other person will have as much of an impact on our child as we who live with them in one home.

Next, don’t forget to give our child praise and proper encouragement. For example, when we help children to learn about mathematics. They usually feel pressured because we insist them to count it right. If they make a mistake, we get annoyed and snap at them. Children will feel defeated and afraid to try. However, if we try to support their way in learning by giving them feedback when they make mistakes and praise their efforts, children want to keep trying because they get our encouragement. When we encourage children through compliments, constructive praise, and feedback, they connect with you. When we critique their abilities without commending them for their hard work, effort, and a job well done, they shut down.

The other thing, Show your affection for the children. When children are hurt and have done something wrong or broken rules, it is critical to show them affection. This demonstrates to them that even when things go wrong, we love them unconditionally regardless of the situation. 

Last but not least, spending quality time with children is the best and most efficient strategy to develop them and teach them that their home is a safe and loving environment. We can do basic things like share family dinners or go for a walk around the neighborhood and talk. It’s about spending time with them without electronics or distractions and letting them know how special they are. Simple things like taking a walk together or grabbing a cup of ice cream to just sit down and talk is all you need.

We can build a child-friendly environment that will prepare them for the future by providing them with access to relevant information, community treatment, and the realization of their goals. What we need to remember is that no house is perfect, and no day is perfect. There will be hard times in the family, but we have to make it as the stepping-stone for a child-friendly environment.

Reference

The Pragmatic Parent. Set the Tone for a Happy Home: Create a Positive Home for your Kids. (2015, August 3). The Pragmatic Parent. https://www.thepragmaticparent.com/positivehome/

Raising Happier and Healthier Child: What is the Best Parenting Style?

Written by: Louis Budiman, Grants Researcher Intern Project Child Indonesia

Family is a fundamental and primary agent of socialization for every human being to grow. Creating a happy, healthy, and safe family environment for children requires a proactive role by parents. To achieve this, good parenting is essential and the very basic aspect that shapes not only child behaviour, but also their likelihood to be a responsible and successful adult in the future. Every parent surely loves and cares for their own kids, but we might want to wonder and ask: what is the best parenting style?

Most researchers and experts agree that there are four major parenting styles (Morin, 2019): authoritarian (focus on obedience and punishment over discipline); authoritative (create positive relationship and enforce rules); permissive (do not enforce rules; ‘kids will be kids’); uninvolved (provide little guidance, nurturing, or attention). In fact, most parents do not necessarily fit solely into one of the categories as they often adopt combined approaches (Lloyd, 2016). This is because every parent and the child have different characteristics and family background, which makes generalization a little bit tricky. Nevertheless, most studies as well as parents agree that authoritative parenting style is the most common way to raise happier and healthier children (Morin, 2020). Such a parenting approach can also mitigate negative consequences that other parenting styles often create. Moreover, the truth is that everyone can be a more authoritative parent. 

There are some starting points for parents to be more authoritative in parenting. First, parents should be aware of their child’s emotions and feelings. This is crucial particularly when children cry or get angry. Telling them to stop crying might be the reaction by most parents, but it is also important for parents to acknowledge what their child is really going through as it might be a big deal to them. To do so, parents can start by considering their child’s feelings, validating their child’s emotions, and being a good listener. This can help parents to provide positive attention and prevent behavioural problems. 

Enforcing rules is also essential in raising children to be responsible. Permissive or uninvolved parents tend to put a little effort on this aspect, while authoritarian parents can be too intense in establishing rules and too excessive in giving warnings. Authoritative parents often set clear rules and explain the reasons behind them to their child – and this could be an ideal way to not only enforce the rules but also to help children understand and expect consequences by following or not following the rules. When children make mistakes, parents must avoid shaming, guilt-tripping, and imposing corporal/physical punishments to their child. Instead, give children consequences that teach life lessons and learning opportunities. This is necessary to maintain child’s anger management, conflict resolution skills, and sense of responsibility. In addition, incentives or rewards could also help and motivate children in getting used to good behaviours. 

Last but not least, parents shall build a positive and healthy relationship with their child. Instead of aiming to control children, it is better for parents to encourage their child’s self-discipline. Parents need to be a good role model and give enough quality time to preserve their child’s mental health. Being a more authoritative parent needs compassion, affection, and patience – and these are the keys to raise a happier and healthier child.

References

Lloyd, C. (2016). What’s your parenting style?. Retrieved from https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/types-of-parenting-styles/#:~:text=Studies%20have%20identified%20four%20major,academically%20strong%20and%20emotionally%20stable

Morin, A. (2019). 4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids. Retrieved from https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045.

Morin, A. (2020). 12 Ways to Become a More Authoritative Parent. Retrieved from https://www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-become-a-more-authoritative-parent-4136329.

Thompson, H. (2018). What’s the ‘best’ parenting style to raise a successful child?.  Retrieved from https://www.mother.ly/child/whats-the-best-parenting-style-to-raise-a-successful-child.